Mrs Mok's Website
Worst Analogies Ever Written
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without a softener.
The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a 1.5m tree.
A Science Lesson
Mrs Lim had been giving 6 Peace a science lesson on Forces. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and bits of iron filing. Now it was Q and A, and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" Our smart girl from the last seat proudly shouted, "You're a mother!"
Ms Kok's Happy Joke Series
I dedicate my happy joke series to all in 6 Peace. Thanks for appreciating my brand of jokes! Haha!
Copyright Ms Kok; 6P
Q1 - Happy is an average Singaporean girl.
Guess her Surname.
ANS:
LEE
(Happily - Happy Lee)
Q2 - Guess Happy's father's name.
ANS:
A parent
(apparently - aparent lee)
Q3 - Which one of Happy's relatives share her name?
ANS: Her aunt.
(Unhappily - aunt happy lee)
Q4 - What's Happy's occupation?
ANS: Nurse (Happiness!!)
Have a HAPPY day!
ANT JOKES
A tru-ant! (truant)
What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?
All sorts of antics!
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater!
What is even bigger than an elephant?
A giant!
What do you call an ant in space?
Cosmonants & Astronants!
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Important!
What medicine would you give an ill ant?
Antibiotics!
Silly Witch Quiz
1. What's a vampire's favourite sport?
Batminton!
2. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with!
3. Why did the witch go over the mountain?
Because she couldn't go under it!
4. What happens if you see twin witches?
You won't be able to see which witch is witch!
5. What has six legs and flies?
A witch giving her cat a ride!
Actual misphrased excerpts from student science exam papers
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
(Our earth is very determined.. it makes a solid decision every day! hahahahahaha)
The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Bar magnets have north and south poles, horseshoe magnets have east and west poles.
Posted 23 Jun 06
Dear girls, DON'T write these in the exam!
Kids' Perspective
Kids' Views on School
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"
On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today?"
The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".
Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"
The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"
Hint for Money
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ?an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on.
After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back.
Dear Son,
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Love,
Dad
Making an effort to help a "lonely" child
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.
Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"
The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"
"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
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